“When you meet expectations, make sure to have a firm word with them”
(Own translation of a Loesje saying, again)
I decided to do the same with meeting a new year. 2013, to be exact. And I met 2013, like y’all did, almost 2 weeks ago already.
So I had a word with 2013. Or did 2013 have a word with me? Either way, we decided to give each other a shot. See if we’d hit it off, get along. Who knows, maybe there’s potential there?
I’ve always liked the idea of picking a word for the new year; one word to focus on. I don’t do resolutions all that well, mostly because I end up feeling like a total failure, even though (truthfully) I never réally try to make them happen anyway. Picking a word makes more sense, as a general guideline. A slow process, so to speak. (Though, honestly, I’ll probably not remember ‘my word’ most of the year. But, as you probably know by know, my motto is; ‘never try, never know’).
So here I go.
I debated picking my ‘one word’ for this year for three weeks now. And I still haven’t quite made up my mind. I’ve never been a champ in making choices, I’ll admit. I’ve been juggling two words; Balance and authenticity.
Both seem like nice ‘goals’. Not just for this one year; since they are both words that are dear to me, therefore both are words I’d like to be part of me and my future in the greater sense of time. ‘Balance’ feels like what I long for most, to find my middle ground, my happy place. I am a very black/white type of girl, very much ‘all or nothing’. To be somewhat of a grey mouse, somewhat of a sterdy ‘rock’, seems like such a tranquil state of being. Easy living, so to speak. Not easy as in, without problems, but easy as in; mellow and soft. Like easy listening (“Soft and unobstrusive”). It seems like a good state of being to build upon. Which brings me to ‘authenticity’. I suppose this is a goal for every human being, it might even be the goal of life. To find your true self, your inner you. Especially for people who have had a rough time, who feel like they need to find themselves ‘back’, authenticity almost seems like a goal itself. But, just like balance, it’s not. Life is a journey, and we change along the way. Our authentic selves can do nothing but change along with us. Therefore, balances shift.
Authenticity seems so very closely linked to that word of ‘balance’, especially for me. Balance feels like how I want my life to feel like, from where I can find my authentic self. Balanced is also what I’d like my authentic me to be.
I think it’s clear though that both of these words are things I feel are lacking in my life, yet both are things I strongly long for. My other half recently wrote me (when I shared her my dilemma) the following: “authenticity leads to a greater balance”. She’s true. Ofcourse. She always is. But I think it’s a dual relationship; authenticity doesn’t just lead to greater balance, balance creates the tranquility to explore your ‘inner you’. Thus, balance can lead to a deeper sense of authenticity.
After this very tumultuous year (or, several years, really), I decided to pick ‘balance’ as my core focus for 2013. However, I do realize both are intrinsically, dually connected, and that both are not goals in themselves. They are not static endpoints. Rather, they are dynamic, never-ending processes. They evolve as we evolve, and we grow as they grow. And I am still growing
What are your goals/plans/resolutions/words for 2013?
*Pictures are mine, please keep it that way