2013: A word (Monday Motivations)

“When you meet expectations, make sure to have a firm word with them”
(Own translation of a Loesje saying, again)

I decided to do the same with meeting a new year. 2013, to be exact. And I met 2013, like y’all did, almost 2 weeks ago already.

So I had a word with 2013. Or did 2013 have a word with me? Either way, we decided to give each other a shot. See if we’d hit it off, get along. Who knows, maybe there’s potential there?

I’ve always liked the idea of picking a word for the new year; one word to focus on. I don’t do resolutions all that well, mostly because I end up feeling like a total failure, even though (truthfully) I never réally try to make them happen anyway. Picking a word makes more sense, as a general guideline. A slow process, so to speak. (Though, honestly, I’ll probably not remember ‘my word’ most of the year. But, as you probably know by know, my motto is; ‘never try, never know’).

So here I go.

I debated picking my ‘one word’ for this year for three weeks now. And I still haven’t quite made up my mind. I’ve never been a champ in making choices, I’ll admit. I’ve been juggling two words; Balance and authenticity.

Kawah Ijen

Both seem like nice ‘goals’. Not just for this one year; since they are both words that are dear to me, therefore both are words I’d like to be part of me and my future in the greater sense of time. ‘Balance’ feels like what I long for most, to find my middle ground, my happy place. I am a very black/white type of girl, very much ‘all or nothing’. To be somewhat of a grey mouse, somewhat of a sterdy ‘rock’, seems like such a tranquil state of being. Easy living, so to speak. Not easy as in, without problems, but easy as in; mellow and soft. Like easy listening (“Soft and unobstrusive”). It seems like a good state of being to build upon. Which brings me to ‘authenticity’. I suppose this is a goal for every human being, it might even be the goal of life. To find your true self, your inner you. Especially for people who have had a rough time, who feel like they need to find themselves ‘back’, authenticity almost seems like a goal itself. But, just like balance, it’s not. Life is a journey, and we change along the way. Our authentic selves can do nothing but change along with us. Therefore, balances shift.

Authenticity seems so very closely linked to that word of ‘balance’, especially for me. Balance feels like how I want my life to feel like, from where I can find my authentic self. Balanced is also what I’d like my authentic me to be.

I think it’s clear though that both of these words are things I feel are lacking in my life, yet both are things I strongly long for. My other half recently wrote me (when I shared her my dilemma) the following: “authenticity leads to a greater balance”. She’s true. Ofcourse. She always is. But I think it’s a dual relationship; authenticity doesn’t just lead to greater balance, balance creates the tranquility to explore your ‘inner you’. Thus, balance can lead to a deeper sense of authenticity.

After this very tumultuous year (or, several years, really), I decided to pick ‘balance’ as my core focus for 2013. However, I do realize both are intrinsically, dually connected, and that both are not goals in themselves. They are not static endpoints. Rather, they are dynamic, never-ending processes. They evolve as we evolve, and we grow as they grow. And I am still growing

What are your goals/plans/resolutions/words for 2013?
                                                                  *Pictures are mine, please keep it that way


14 thoughts on “2013: A word (Monday Motivations)

  1. You are so right and I don’t think it’s just authenticity or balance that are dual words, but most of them. Everything in our lives relies on balance. When there is too much of one thing, something else will go out of balance the other way.
    My word was DO – because I tend to think too much and do too little.
    I’m glad you gave this year another chance. Because you deserve to have a chance, even more than life does. And I hope that it turns out to have been worth your while.
    I believe in you and I always will. Love and hugs xxx

    • ‘Do’ is a very nice one as well. How do you plan on incorporating it into your daily life now? I’m afraid it will simply vanish to the background if I don’t find a way to remind myself of my word daily

      • I’m afraid of that too! It’s so easy to lose track of these things in the everyday life whirlwind. I’ve been doing a lot of writing for CBT – every time I have thoughts that are negative, anxious, distressing etc, I have to write them down and put them through a heap of CBT questions to challenge them. Usually there are lots of anxious thoughts about things I need to DO, like going to ballet, leaving the house, meeting someone, etc – so I guess I am reminding myself daily through these exercises that I need to get out and ultimately DO what I’m scared of.
        Maybe you could buy yourself a bracelet or a ring that could be of significance for you and would remind you every time you looked down and saw it?
        Love you xxx

  2. I love your goal.
    May I borrow it. I still can’t grasp the essence of myself – I need that balance. People tell me I’m this and that, but I don’t feel either. Does anyone do?
    And for the simpler things – I think I might get married this year. Still wrapping the idea around my head, as I see a little point in the latter. Maybe that’s my essence? Haha: me – wife!!! :D :D :D

    • Wohoooo!! WOW! Thats pretty big and awesome!! Has *he* proposed yet?

      And yes you may borrow the word. And keep me posted (email!) on how you incorporate it into your life. I’m not sure yet on how to do that actually!!

      • Oh, it’s not big deal, Sooz.
        He has proposed like three years ago, and I said yes, and there was a ring blah blah blah…
        And I never wanted the dress, the ball and all that crap, so I never though about making it official… But now I’m thinking about becoming Mrs. Just thinking!!!!

      • I can’t belieeeve you think it’s no big deal. I realize it’s less *big* in todays society since divorce has become almost as common as marriage itself, but I think it’s something special for sure. And you, the fashionista, not picturing the perfect dress and wedding? I would have never guessed!

  3. So…you believe that you at your most authentic-ist…is a being of pure, easy listening balance?
    That is beautiful.
    I tend to think my authentic self is just a wild ridiculous and weirdo mess – and when I try and do the serene balanced calm bit It doesn’t click.

    However I DO love the word but to me it means…balanced in my overall life (work, play…etc).

    • And we love your weirdo you! Which is something you shouldn’t even wánt to change. Thats you. We’re all a different us. I could never keep your you up. Of course I love being crazy wild every now and then, but in the end, I’m more of the easy-going girl.

  4. Pingback: Vulnerability | THE WORLD OF CHAOS IN MY HEAD

  5. Pingback: 2014: A word (Monday Motivations) | THE WORLD OF CHAOS IN MY HEAD

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