I need to leave. Now.
I want my period back. Now. I know how uncomfortable that is when you’re farawayabaroad, in a hot&humid country too busy to care, but; I never felt better than the week I had my period. I can’t explain, but both physically and mentally everything just made sense. Everything was calm. Good. Comfortable.
And now? I’m back on constant stress-binges. I can’t do this anymore. My body doesn’t tolerate it anymore. I threw up a little twice this week. I NEVER throw up, ever. It has happened maybe thrice in my adult-life due to an attack (uh, yeah) and maybe twice more from…err… alcohol. So that’s five times in 10 years. And now two in one week due to binges! What.the. HECK am I doing?!
So I wanna leave now. NOW. Even though I’m scared shitless. Too nervous to return to my faraway loves. Too nervous to get to work in a foreign country, making a fool of myself. Too nervous to be on a trip with 15 ppl I don’t know. Too nervous to appear to be professional, which I am not. Too nervous to feel icky the entire time; to feel too uncomfortable to even want to leave the hotelroom, let alone be producive.
But I need to leave or my body and mind will explode
So, from tomorrow, Ill be gone with the wind (or, with Emirates Airlines, but that sounds a little less poetic) and I hope to return a bit refreshed and re-energized (though I know Ill be absolutely worn.OUT by the time I return. And then Christmas right after? Oh my, book me a bed and a masseuse to bring me back to life after boxing day?)
Ta-ta loveies, Ill be back in 2 weeks.
Malaysia, here I come (again)