Aaaaaaanother monday! (I love doing these ‘scheduled posts’, I write ‘it’s monday again’ five times in a row. Makes me feel sorta schizo TBH!). And, again, I have a GUESTPOOOOST! Yay. This one’s from my battyboy (or butty boy?) Meg. I heart Meg. I so wanna meet her!! How can you not love someone who emails you naked belly pictures when you moan about yours?
Well, the lovely Sooz is off exploring and sunning herself in lovely Cuba (not jealous, honest. OK, maybe a wee bit) and she asked me if I would write a guest post on my motivations to recover.
Oh course, I said yes straight away but then I started thinking – what were my motivations to recover?
It sounds like such a simple question, but it’s actually quite complicated and varies so much between people.I suppose for me, I was just completely and utterly fed up. I had been ‘semi recovered’ from anorexia for many years and assumed I could continue life as I was, but then, what kind of life was I living? Not a very fun one. In fact, it was quite lonely. Yes, I had my little skinny body– but I had isolated myself from all of my friends and family members (excluding my parents and brother), I hadn’t had a boyfriend for god knows how long, I was unemployed…I didn’t have an awful lot to show for my (then) 27 years on this planet.
It was time to change. Motivation firstly came indirectly from my parents, who I had hurt so much with this disease. They had endured a lot of moaning, mood swings, arguments and sadness all resulting from anorexia so initially I wanted to get better for them. As time went on and I got deeper into recovery, I wanted to recover for ME. I want my old life back, where I was carefree, funny, light hearted –all the things I lost through an eating disorder. Also, another huge motivation for me was employment. I trained to be a Primary School Teacher last year and passed the course but did not secure a job. I had been told by a (very blunt) Dietitian that the reason I did not have a job was not the shocking job market in the UK but in fact because I was underweight. Being underweight made me tire easily, have minimal energy and sub-optimal brain functions – not a great recipe for any teacher-to-be.
Really, I wanted to recover so I could do this behind my students ;) >>Click here<<
To anybody considering recovery, there are a lot of things to weigh up and it is quite a big decision to make. Nobody will doubt it is incredibly difficult, but those who have come out the other side will almost certainly tell you it was worth it. They will tell you of the life they have regained through recovery, the friends they have made or reconnected with, the jobs they have secured and the fun they have had. They will probably not feel the need to tell you every item they have eaten that day, or how much they weigh, nor will they care. They have a life outside of food.
Consider the options – is it worth damaging bones, skin, hair, organs, psychological and physical wellness all just to be thin? Really? Ultimately, I’m not so sure it is. This is what I cling to in moments of doubt (which I do have, and have yet to see anyone in recovery who doesn’t), I cling to the fact that life outside an eating disorder is a lot more fulfilling than one engrossed in thoughts of food, weight and fat.