Today one of my friends called. She went to the doctors and was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder. She did not go into the conversation, but agreed to meet me for coffee tomorrow.
Now, my mind is spinning. She asked me to ‘please not be mad’. Why on earth would I be mad? For her ‘taking my place’? Stealing my title? For not stopping her before it got to this? For, even though I warned her and asked her and told her and begged her months ago already, I stopped warning her at some point and let her slip? I am not mad. Not at her at least. I am sad. And darn anxious.
Because, now it’s me at the other side.
I have no idea what I am supposed to do or say. She is not anorectic like I was, she is not emaciated, scarily thin. She’s not even skinny. She has always been a bigger girl and then lost a lot of weight through heavy excercise and dieting. Every lost pound was advertised on her facebook. Everyone cheered. Except for me. I warned her. I showed her what she did not want to become; me. And still I somehow let her slip.
Anyone, any advice? What do I tell her tomorrow? Or what not? What can I do to help her except simply being there for her? It’s not an “I’ll eat with you”-matter, because she’s not like that. She’s not the scared-of-food anorectic. She’s unhappy with her body, overexcercising to get rid of emotions and.. well.. She’s just not in a healthy place. It’s so different from where I was that I am so unsure what to do.