(Warning: Contains pictures. Very sexy indeed.)
This morning I was mourning.
I am mourning what I lost by gaining.
I am mourning the body that used to be mine.
Like with every death, I am mourning the fact I now have lost if for life
I am mourning the fact it will never be mine again.
This morning I woke up mourning.
I woke up crying. For four hours straight.
First in front of the mirror, then in the shower.
I let the shower cry hot drops of tears with me.
Sharing pain means halving it?
My throat is swollen and soar.
My eyes are puffy and red.
My voice is raspy and uncertain.
Throughout the day, when I forgot I was mourning, it would catch me off-guard.
Sudden flashes of pain and emptiness deep inside my soul and heart.
It ushered to remember me; today, I am mourning.
Today I am mourning. And tomorrow life will go on.
Evn though it will never be the same now I’ve lost something for life, death is, indeed just that; part of life. We live, we mourn, we live on. We sometimes need ot to remind us of life’s preciousness. Death calls for mourning, but life is worth celebrating.
Apparently quite a few of us were struggling. So this is just a liiiitle (not so much!) reminder you’re not alone. I, too, have exploded. To say the least. NOTHING fits me anymore, not even my old stuff. And it hurts. Yes. Especially since I’ve still not had my period. And so I cry. But there’s more to life. We mourn, we remember, but life goes on. And so that’s what I’ll do.. Tomorrow I’m back celebrating life. In a size larger than life. Though I haven’t had the courage to buy jeans that size yet, it’s on my list for next week. I do hope this puts things into perspective for you all as well.. You’re not the only ones gaining..
(And secretly I’m now having a laugh that these are the first pictures of me I’ve posted. I swore I’d never post pictures because I did not want anyone to recognize me. Ha. Kudos for the one who does from these! &You’re welcome for the mental image. of my undies At least they’re cute?)