A quick update of sorts!

Apart from completely bombarding other people’s blogs with comments recently, I haven’t been around the internet much. I, for one, still don’t have internet in my new appartment, which absolutely sucks. It sucks so much, that I’ve spent the entire week at my parents’ place because I had a gazillion deadlines and this Uni student cannot function without the help of the almighty Wikipedia.

I think it’s pretty safe to say; I do not function under pressure. Too bad I also do not perform without it. I need deadlines and mostly Last Minute Stress (with capitals) to be able to do what I hate to. That used to mean a week of not eating, to enhance the high and o-oh feeling. For a year now though, it means bingeing. A LOT of it. But somehow I gave up caring this week, if it took a binge to finish an essay, then well, so be it. But it wore me down bigtime.

I managed to go see my angels the other weekend. The youngest turned 3. We hugged and kissed and no one else of her happy Bday committee managed to get a smooch out of her, so bonuspoints for me (I did ofcourse bring one of the most awesome presents, THE best in her opinion, but I think her parents outdid me with a MegaMindy costume, how can you beat that?!)

And then I went out for drinks and dinner (the sun was out! That needs celebrating in Holland!!) with friends. Indian. I first panicked, cancelled, kicked myself in the butt and dragged myself there anyway. Thanks Ellie for the reminder!

And then there was another lovely, sunny day that I had decided was gonna be my day off. I got a sunburn. Like, a really bad one. Oooo I felt like a friggin German! But still love the Sun nontheless. 4Evahhh! Nothing can destroy our relationship!!

Now I’m trying to put some nice art on the walls in my new place, but can’t find the ‘right stuff”. It’s quite a particular space, with already a lot of colors etc, so I’m lost to what I want. I went back to my old workplace today to have a look (I worked in an artgallery with mentally challenged people. We sold their art there, but they also made it there, I still miss that place incredibly!). Since they hadn’t seen me in almost half a year and I pretty much doubled since then they were.. Ah, positive. Haha I LOVE working with them, because they are always flat-out honest. No harm intended! They used to tell me to ‘eat a sandwich more’ or even share their cookies (anyone familiar with Down Syndrome people know that sharing THEIR good food is not something they like doing haha!) and now they were all lovely. There was one new girl though, and she came up to me and said; Can I tell you something? I told her she could. ‘You’re pretty tall’. I cannot disagree (1.82 meters… oioi..). Then she added; ‘Can I tell you something else?’ Sure. I had seen her check out my legs ( I was indeed wearing a very unorthodox extremely short dress..) ‘I also think you’re pretty skinny’. I sorta laughed. She then added ‘But I think you eat well. You look like you eat well’. Hahah love it. I look like I eat well. Who’d’ve thought that a year ago?!

I’ve had a LOT of people comment on the way I look the past month or so. To me, to my parents, etc. The lady from the glasses-shop told my mom after I’d left (she was picking out new glasses) if she could just tell my mom ‘how great I looked.’ She knew it was a strange thing to tell, but she had to anyway (she has a daughter my age). ALL of my parents neighbours (the two each side and the 2 across) have come up to either one of my parents the past few weeks asking where I went (since I moved out) and that I was looking so much better. Then went I went shopping with my aunt the other week (again wearing my way too short dress) she stopped and yelled; GOD SOOZ! You’ve got serious legs now!! (Eh, thanks?) I know I should appreciate the comments, and sometimes I do. Some friends keep telling me I’ve got my glow back and look so much better, but sometimes I really don’t need EVERYone to have an opinion. It’s not like I’m a walking carnival show? Oh well..

I think I’ll write some more about that later this week. I’ll leave you with this mumbling right now. My brother is starving (oh the irony!) and in a hurry so I’ll try and fix us some dinner!


10 thoughts on “A quick update of sorts!

  1. Ahh Sooz this is a happy post. I miss your posts! Get the internet sorted soon miss.

    You really should be proud that people feel comfortable to say how brilliant you look. These people were most probably scared for your life not so long ago so to see you cruising around looking good must be such a huge relief. I know people with an ED misinterpret comments of ‘you look well’ to ‘you look fat’ but it’s not that at all, my Mum’s friend paraded me around her house at the weekend saying “Doesn’t she look lovely?! You look so well, doesn’t she? Rob, Sarah, doesn’t she look lovely…etc etc” and I lapped it up. HA! (Don’t get me wrong, I am massively insecure 99% of the time but for that moment I didn’t feel gigantic, I felt healthy :)

    That comment from the ‘new girl’ was so sweet, did you just say, umm yeah, I eat well…

    Deadlines met now? Less stressful times to come? Hope so xx

    • I don’t interpret it as ‘you look fat’ because I know I don’t. I do now HAVE fat, but it doesn’t MAKE me fat. And I do like how some people tell me I look better. But its the people close to me. Not just any random person who’s seen me the past year. It’s just weird everyone feels like they have to say something about how I look now.. It feels a bit.. ‘belittle’-ing, of that’s a word..

      I’m thinking about doing a post later about the weird things ‘people’ say/have said to ‘us’ though, so think about strange things that have been said to you, I’m curious to hear!! haha

      • Yeah I know what you mean. I do sometimes feel like a fool because people have made a bigger deal of it than it should have been & feel like saying “OK, yes, I gained weight, don’t patronise me”. But then again, I know they don’t mean any harm so have to bite my tongue to some people!

        I’ll get thinking about some odd comments I’ve received, I’m pretty sure there are some but can’t think off the top of my head. Look forward to it x

  2. Firstly, “I got a sunburn. Like, a really bad one. Oooo I felt like a friggin German!” = hahaha. .
    I agree with what miss cakes says about the comments, but I totally understand. I would just rather people wouldn’t comment at all! But humans, they do like to compare, analyse etc.
    I hope you got all the work that needed doing done. :) Well done for facing the fear of the meal out! :D
    And I’ve much enjoyed your “bombardment” of comments :)) xx

  3. Happy post! Yay! BRAP BRAP for indian! Glad I could be of assistance :).

    I know I’m late to the comment party but you are doing really well atm. It’s annoying when people comment on how you look (even when it’s nice). Sometimes, I wish people wouldn’t at all, but hey, they do, and in the long run the compliments will make you feel better.

    I like your comments. And emails. Keep ’em coming.

    Hope this finds you well x.

  4. Thanks Ellie :)
    Unfortunately today staaaank! I feel like a schizo every now and then (well, most of the time really!!) but I’ll give ‘starting fresh’ another try (again!) tomorrow. Apparently I still didn’t run out of those!

  5. ah.. happy days that you look WELL :D to me, that just means ur glowing with life with tons to live for! spring in your step, sparkle in your eyes and all that jazz.. hope you’re happier inside ANd OUT!

    • But thats the thing though, I do not necessarily feel better. That’s what ticks me off. I know people mean well when they say I look better, but looking better (in their eyes, I may add!) means absolutely nothing to me when I feel crap. Sometimes even more crap than ever before, because when deep in AN, I didn’t even feel anything really. So feeling crap is a worse feeling than not feeling (though I know this is very wrong, I know. But still). When people thus comment on ‘how well I look’ it only reminds me of how my body has maybe recovered, but my head&soul have not. And that hurts

  6. *hugz* i know what you mean. i feel the same way. Yet.. I try to take it as an achievement, you know? Have to tell myself all the time that maybe the body needs to recover first before the head does too. and then.. maybe then… eventually I’d see what others do, and I’d feel great about myself. :D eventually… And to be honest, those kinda comments will keep me on track, otherwise it’d be like.. “what am i doing this for?” i know i should be doing it for myself, but if i can’t, at least doing it for others sake ain’t such a bad thing, eh? have to give that whole ” taking care of others” side something to do too.. lol..

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