Define your worth

I commented on another blog this morning, and her post was a follow up to someone else’s. And that led me to even more. I realized that my post and my self-eye-opener from yesterday apparently weren’t all that eyeopening anymore. I just failed to notice. It made me wonder though…

Like I said, I hate it when people now think I am doing well, just because I appear to look healthier (ie bigger). They judge my state of being on my appearance. By only looking at my outside, they ignore what’s within. When I was 15k skinnier, they would always ask if I were doing okay, if there was anything they could do, etc. Ofcourse they were, I looked like the walking dead; skin over bones, seethrough flesh and hollow eyes.  But apparently it made them considerate enough to ask about me aswell, because looking like this, something must inherently be incredibly wrong?
Howcome people completely forget about such things when they see your physique growing stronger?

By being defined as ‘the girl recovering from ED’ people only look at your appearance. If only they would look a little closed, a little deeper, and see the you behind it! But there lies the problem. By being defined by one thing, people need not bother to look beyond that single one aspect. If you are considered to be the artsy girl, they’ll ask about your latest work. If you’re the ‘girl going to Uni’  they’ll inform about your latest grades. If you’re the girl with the important job, they’ll ask about that, etc.

But can we blame them? Or is it us? Is it us who make them focus on certain aspects so we can hide so many others? If we only have to pretend/put on a mask concerning that one aspect of our being, it makes it a hell of a lot easier than to play pretend in so so many of them.

Any thoughts on the matter? Are we just so and so, or are we more than the sum of matters? Are we letting ourselves be defined by others or do we (intentionally or not) mislead them into doing just so?


2 thoughts on “Define your worth

  1. When i finished therapy at a counselling place where i only had a set number of sessions, all my friends thought i was ‘cured’. I was still going through everything i’d gone through before, i was still suffering, but no one asked me how i was any longer, they just assumed i was ok. Unfortunately, i needed them more after therapy than i did during.

    I just think it’s difficult for people who haven’t experienced mental problems (oh man, now i’m making us sound worse, i’m sorry haha) to understand that we don’t just become ok again, it’s a long process, and our bodies don’t necessarily reflect that.

    Love this :) Gutted i didn’t know your blog when you wrote this post xx

    • Wow, this is an old post, but; “we don’t just become ok again, it’s a long process, and our bodies don’t necessarily reflect that.”

      Its not just the people around me (/us?) that forget that. I do too. Now that I’ve been a healthy, stable weight for half a year I, too, feel like I should be ‘cured’. ‘Normal’. Ahh, not so much just yet. Like you said; it’s a PROCESS. Thank you for reminding me.

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